About my work

My approach

I use a relational therapy approach.

What does this mean? It might be helpful to first understand what this doesn’t mean. A relational therapy approach doesn’t mean you need to be in a ‘relationship’ to come to therapy. It also doesn’t mean that therapy will focus strictly on the relationships you have in various areas of your life. Relational therapy can address any issue or challenge you might bring to our sessions.

Relational therapy is based on the fundamental belief that emotional well-being depends on having satisfying relationships with others, and a satisfying relationship with oneself. We all develop relational “blueprints” throughout our lifetime, blueprints that began to form during childhood and that continue to evolve into adulthood. If we look closely, these relational blueprints reveal themselves all over the place, and can be seen in the challenges we experience in life (home life and work life stressors, feeling “bad” about ourselves, for example). And so, issues that at first glance do not seem to be relationship-based, often are. This is the reason relational therapy can be an effective way to address a broad range of life issues.

Another key aspect of relational therapy, and one that differentiates it from other types of psychotherapy, is acknowledgment of the client-therapist relationship. Noticing the things that come up within this relationship can be an important learning opportunity for your self-understanding. The focus of your therapy is by no means the client-therapist relationship; the therapeutic relationship is a backdrop to the work we are doing, and offers what is often a unique space to bring your authentic self. This can be incredibly valuable. My hope is that you and I can co-create a relationship based on trust and curiosity wherein we can better understand your relational blueprints and help you make meaningful, enduring change so that you can be with yourself and be with others in a new, enlivening way.

In relational therapy, we talk about the sense of wonderful ordinary goodness that therapy can bring about. Wonderful ordinary goodness means being okay with ourselves and feeling connected with others, even amidst the hurts, conflicts and stressors of everyday life. I truly believe that you can experience wonderful ordinary goodness. Change is possible. 

Areas of focus

Relationships

As mentioned above, you don’t need to be in a ‘relationship’ to benefit from relational therapy. That being said, relational therapy is a particularly effective way to address relationship-specific struggles. If you are struggling with any of your life relationships (with your partner[s], as a parent, with your own parents, as a co-worker, etc.), we can explore your relational patterns, try to understand who you are and what needs you have in your relationships, and help you nurture healthier, deeper, more authentic ways of being with others.

Most often, our relationship struggles with others are symptoms of the struggle we have in our relationship to ourselves. In our work together, we can try to better understand you and help you cultivate a more positive relationship with yourself. It is only when we have a positive relationship with ourselves that we can participate in healthy relationships with others.

Grief

Grief is lonely. There is so much darkness in grief. And sometimes there is also light. We can sit in that space together. Grief can also be present in our lives in surprising ways. For example, what may appear to be anger or depression may actually have grief at its roots.

Anxiety

It’s not uncommon to have anxiety or to be nervous from time to time. However, if anxiety is interfering with your ability to function, addressing it in therapy can help.

Parenting

I am passionate about working with clients who are navigating parenting. As a mother of 4 children myself, I know that parenting is incredibly difficult. You may feel pushed to your limits as a parent. You may understand that you and your children are struggling and yet you don’t know how to make change. Perhaps you do know cognitively how you’d like to be with your children and yet in the moment it feels almost impossible to do something different with them. Relational therapy can be a particularly powerful tool to help you better understand yourself and move towards the parent you’d like to be. 

Pregnancy and postpartum

Pregnancy and postpartum are seasons of change. Change can be hard. You may be experiencing many different feelings about having a baby. Maybe you struggled with feelings of depression or anxiety before you got pregnant and now it’s worse. Maybe you’re worried about what having a baby means for your current family relationships (i.e., other children, partner or co-parent if they exist). You may have had a difficult birth experience. Maybe you’re feeling completely overwhelmed after having your baby. Whatever it is, we can work together to help you process what’s going on, with the hope that you can experience these life phases in a way that feels good for you.

Fertility and loss

It can be excruciatingly painful and lonely to struggle with getting pregnant, to miscarry, and to experience the death of a baby. Having support during these dark times can make a difference.

Burnout

Burnout is a painful state that is often laden with loneliness, feelings of being stuck or trapped, and confusion around how to move forward. Together we can explore what is happening for you and perhaps gain some clarity around how to alleviate some of your suffering and help you feel more settled.